PLACES I HAVE PEED . . . . . Detroit - this is where i grew up - east side suburbs mostly - st clair shores, warren, etc . . . . . Port Huron - this is where i was born - visited there a couple times - nice marinas, lake huron, etc . . . . . Toronto - been there twice - once with family - n once on a school field trip - the cn tower is very tall . . . . . Traverse City - on a vacation once, as a kid - the water is very clear n very cold . . . . . Muskegeon - on a vacation once, as a teenager - sand dunes several stories tall - lake michigan is awesome . . . . . Kalamazoo - lived there once, for a year - 11th grade - trees n rivers n hills - old nuthouse capital of michigan . . . . . Chicago - been there a couple times - got relatives there . . . . . Dallas / Fort Worth - layover for a couple hours - on the way out west . . . . . Alburquerque - got some old friends out there - partied with them for about 6 months . . . . . Los Angeles - got some old friends out there - partied with them for about 3 months . . . . . Minneapolis / St. Paul - layover for a couple hours - on the way back home . . . . . Atlanta - been there a couple times - nice city - wide freeways . . . . . Athens - lived there once, for a year - nice college hippie jock town - REM and the B-52s are from there . . . . . Macon - moved here in 96 - got some distant relatives here . . . . . Orlando n Clearwater - got relatives there - sun rox . . . . . Key West - visited on vacation in 1980 - saw the hemmingway house

ok - summer of 87, i'm shocked to find meself on stage in fronta about 1500 people - there was this party that my band had agreed to play, n everybody in the fkn county showed up - four bands total, we were the third to go on, but it was our like third gig ever, period - my buddies' band Hunky Dory went on for an hour or so i guess, n we followed em - they were jus leavin as we were settin up - no, they didn't stick around to see me play - they'd seen me play already, they sed - so another buddy of mine in the thickening crowd yells, "bass solo" cuz he'd seen me play too - so while the resta band was pluggin in etc, i took 5 or 10 to warm up for the show - i'm sure i fell into Abdullah's Ride n W.B.O.E. n it seemed to go over pretty good - my ego was makin me glow, n i had no problems with the resta the show - now, ye hafta understand, everytime we played, we did the exact same set, even at practice - 13 originals n Bastille Day by Rush for an encore - a few weeks after this, the singer (who was havin a fight with her boyfriend, the guitarist) yelled at me n sed somethin insulting, like, "it doesn't matter what u think, yer just the bass player" - so i quit, which was prolly a pretty silly thing to do, especially leavin em without a bass player for an upcoming kinda important gig in like a week or so - but i had my moment in the sunset, n wanted to bring some of me own tunes to the scene - because there was so many people there, too many for most mellow bashes the owner of the property decided to put the cars on his back 40 - i guess he charged em or somethin, cuz most people decided to leave their cars on the shoulder of the highway out front - by the end of our set, i could see flashing police lights from the front of the house, about 300 yards from the stage - needless to say, the next band, the headliners, never go to go on, and the disgruntled crowd was ordered to disperse - during this mass hysteria, i was backstage (n under it) in a pseudo dressing room, when an extremely inebriated hottie in cuttoffs n a tube top threw herself upon me, sayin i was the best lead guitarist there all night - i was not able to retreive her phone number - this has always distressed me, and is the likely cause of much of me neuroses ;o)

so once, on thanksgiving 87 or 88, in detroit, about 2 n a half miles north of the now world famous 8 mile road, n on that same silly side of town, i was at a bar called New York, New York - i was with a few o me friends, it was quarter beer nite or somethin - this is a place where i had roadied for me buddies' bands, n ran lights, etc - some friends of theirs were playin that night, Sheer Heart (aka Beer Fart) - i went out to me buddy's car to grab my jacket cuz i had run outta smokes - i noticed an old beat up boat of a ride, with some partiers in it, parked inconspicuously in the far end parking lot, as stoners sometimes do - so i went over to em n talked to em for a bit - 3 black guys, which is rare for a rock bar, n a plastic poser pseudo neon rock bar at that, - i mean, i wasn't afraid of em or nothin, n it wasn't dangerous for them to be there or anything, but me foist impression was that these guys were lost, or hidin out from the cops, who were dicks - their seldom seen in suburbia style (except for people like me) slipped in silently behind a dumpster until the casual coast was clear (been there a few times meself) - but my mind wanders - so they're passin around this joint spliff hooter doobie blunt, poorly rolled n nasty smellin, seeds a poppin n stems a burnin - they passed it to me n so i took a nice hit, n smiled all friendly like - they asked me if it was live in there - i had no idea what they were talkin about - i sed that, "yeah, there was a live band in there," or somethin, n asked the dudes their names - the driver sed "Run" - i sed, "Ron?," - he sed, "no, Run" - i sed "oh, hey, Ron" - the two dudes in the back got a little kick outta this, n passed halfa bottle of vodka up front - i'm pretty sure i prolly passed, cuz i prefer jack daniels, but i told em to come on in - there was some convo about what kinda music was goin on in there, n i went back inside - about 10 minutes later, in they walk n go pretty much straight into the ladies room - about 10 minutes after that, i look up on stage, n i can see now in the brightly hued lights ..... that it was Run DMC, n they started doin Walk This Way with the band - most people don't believe this story when i tell em - the bar has since changed its name, n changed hands, several times since those days - they could be country or kareoke now, for all i know ;o)

ok - summer of 88, i'm pretty sure, i stumbled upon some tickets to go see Megadeth - i had only vaguely hearda these guys then, n for some legal reasons, they hadda change their name for the tour to Mega Death (i knew some guys in a band called Mommie's Dearest, who were havin somethin similar themselves) - my girlfriend couldn't go, so i invited me cousin, n he ended up drivin - we stopped in the hood to cop some weed, but he didn't want any - anyways, i went to the show, n it was pretty cool, even though i'm not into metal that much - afterwards, me cousin n i were pullin outta the packed parking lot, (i had roadied there before, so i knew where it was cool n safe to park, right by the stage doors) n lookout, there's the singer flaggin us down like a hitchiker, n we ended up givin this dude a ride to his hotel, which happened to be justa few blocks from where i grew up - on the drive, we got a little acquainted - i think i went to light up a bowl, but he didn't want any either - dude sed his name was Dave n he usedta play with Metalica before they got big - i didn't exactly not believe him, but i did wanna party with a tourin band n all their groupies - but me cousin hadda drive about 100 miles home, n it was late, n i didn't live on that side of town anymore - the motel was right by the freeway, so a ride home the next morning was way outta their way - makes me wonder sometimes tho - anyways, that's how i met Dave Mustane before he made it big himself ;o)

so i'm in Alburquerque, n there is no job to speak of, really - i get about ten bux an hour about 10 hours a month n i'm crashin on me friend's couch, n they got kids - lame - but i joined a band, n theire buds had a band, so i ended up bein a roadie - chronic lacka sleep during a sound check caused a hot groupie to claim me - she took me home n gave me the full treatment - not a savior, exactly, but a pretty nice oasis ;o)

still out in Alburquerque, summer of 90, i somehow get a chance to see Robin Trower live - i'd always been a huge fan of his, but only heard like 3 of his tunes, except for his big album like once - so i was really geeked n into the show, so much so that i ended up goin alone (i worked one afternoon in the bar nextdoor to the hall, same owners, n i was too hippie for em, but they bought me a couple o shots n let me in to rock) - so i went up to the balcony to get a good view of the stage n i prolly would tried to get backstage later, n ask if i could pleas be a roadie for em - but this is where another chick claimed me for the night - an international conspiracy to keep me from seein the world as a rock n roll roadie - the next day, she took me up to the mountains but i had a bad toothache that i only ever noticed so elevated into a thinner atmosphere, so it was hard to enjoy - left me shoes in her apartment, came back for em the next day but she wasn't home - waited outside when a neighbor asked me what i was doin there, n she decided to claim me as well - this one gave me an extremely welcome classic coke n cooked me a steak n 10 bux for gas - man, stuff like this never fkn happens to me anymore ;o)

so i'm back home, summer of 92 or 93, homeless again, or still, or somethin similar - sittin on me bike, at a bus stop, leanin on the handlebars, takin a nap - i look up at the semi busy intersection to see Santa Claus himself in a red sports car - prolly checkin to see if i was bein naughty or nice - later, i heard from me fellow homeless denizens of the local shelter that they too had experienced such phenomena, n seen me crashed out all balanced like - anyways, that's how i dreamed or really did see Santa Claus one hot summer's day ;o)

so i finally find a place to rent n cop a job guardin a parkin lot at a titty bar - in this time, 2 chix come up to me n end up bein regular booty calls, but neither of em are dancer material - once, ridin home, on a 10 speed bike i bought for 7 bux while homeless, no hands, cuz i'm playin me acoustic guitar, i hit a pothole with me front wheel n the whole thing falls out from under me, yet i remarkably recover n roll gracefully with nary a scratch to either me or the irreplacable axe - n this is why i believe in guardian angels ;o)

so i'm a roadie again for a band that i forget the name of, but it was an Alice Copper tribute - this is in the early mid 90s sometime - we got a gig at a real nice, brand new, posh club in Mt. Clemens, n about 30 people showed up - but we were goin out on a little mini tour for about 10 towns or so, n it was a good warm up exercise - so anyways, it was my job to be the guy who runs the guillotine while Alice gets his head cut off - i also got to throw all these dolls at the stage durinn Billion Dollar Babies - stuff like that - so this show, i was dressed up for it - someone had put makeup on me face, i looked all scary - so i'm stage right, waitin for me cue, n i look across, past the drummer, n there's these 2 hot groupies wavin at me - i wave back, they're very pleased n wave some more, n start to move all sexy like - i'm like, "ok, come on over" - they're shy - i realize they don't wanna come over across the stage where the band is playin, so i begin to motion that it'd be awesome, which they refuse, so i switch me signals to for them to come around - they flash me - so now i'm really serious about wantin to find out what these groupies are up to n all about, n i start to head over to em, but this is when they figure out that there's a path behind the stage, n come over - well, as soon as they saw that i was not the actual Alice, or Gene Simmons, or anyone else known to be in clown makeup on Halloween, they bailed - hmm - a couple minutes later, one of em came back, to kinda apologize but she still didn't want anything to do with me, a mere roadie - man, bein a fkn roadie sux ;o)

Christmas time, end of december, i'm ridin me moped back from the mall, wearin me roomie's army coat, that was the best i could muster up, but hardly equipped for the occasion, especially since i was increasing me windchill with every push for further horsepower - comin up to an intersection, all seemed clear, sittin there freezin in 5 degrees at night, n a red light - i go - outta nowhere comes a car fulla teenage girls, driver's fresh on her license - smack, n i fly across the road, wake up on me back to angels lookin down overhead, somewhat concerned - backin up traffic, lyin half dead in the road, dude comes over n tells me to stay down - i ignore, eventually - look over at the island n me moped's totalled - cops give the chick a ticket n get mad at me for touchin me bike, leakin fuel on the lawn - everyone seems to think i'm an idiot for refusing ambulance service, but i feel fine - chix dad offers to gimme a ride home, he'll be right back, never shows - i give in n hit a payphone, call home, still freezin the whole time, n the pain sets in - get a ride to the hospital, i tore a ligament or a tendon off the inside o me kneecap - over the next few weeks n months i blow off me therapy exercises cuz they're lame - n now, sometimes, so am i, kinda ;o)