1 "Charming. Irreverent. Relaxed." If that�s what you said about the first book, then "read on," as Ringo would say (or at least he did say at least once, whether he would say so now is up to his own, and quite possibly anybody else�s, subtle opinion). This being the second book of a trilogy, n therefore the hardest most difficult to write, much less begin, I won�t. Very simply, I already have probably mostly finished it, in fact. So that was easy. "Dumb," tho you may say, I like to begin a project mostly finished ~ saves time. OK, so in the previous installment I chatted n rambled on endlessly a bit about being OK with disapproval ~ n not just that, I need to be OK with the threat of disapproval, the almost money back guarantee of that. Now most people couldn�t care less what other people think, or at least seem to on the surface ~ anyways, that�s the propaganda. The point is that everybody hasta deal with something, n this is it (for me anyways). Imagine for a moment that every time ya went out into the woods in the rain ya got struck by lightning. After awhile, even a picture of a tree would be suspect ~ you�d try to avoid the whole concept altogether. It�s a Pavlovian conditioned response, n I have been conditioned to expect disapproval. I�m also allergic to peer rejection, but that�s another story. Then again, maybe I�m just an asshole. Again, I apologize. Sad, eh? Meanwhile there�s wiggy people in the world, like what this next bit describes n refers to, valiantly n gallantly anon ~ n we hafta be wary of em or be felled thus under their inimitable wrath. All of this which, could be karma, or mantra, or dogma, or magma, or dog doodoo ~ this is your paradise n pricey piece to decide upon. Hence: onward we go. The soon to be following light year long sentence is devoted entirely to the presentation (n almost verbatim) of some wiggy, laid back, asinine advice I once gave to a groovy friend of mine: who was having trouble with a certain, n certainly certifiable, parental unit. Being a self-appointed slight expert on such subjects, I felt perfectly fine n in my own inimitable domain. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do (or did, writin it in the first place), but before we get all into it, lemme just say first that I enjoy rattlin my mouth off (pretend ya didn�t already notice). Sometimes it gets me in trouble, as my sensitivity factors seem to be adjusted slightly differently than most whom I share this same universe with. Also, you will prolly learn much more about me that ya prolly want to, or I may want ya to ~ or more about them than they want ya to ~ ah, just read on. "We who are about to die, salute you."
"Well, speakin as someone who, as an adult, lived in the same domicile as his slightly uneven ma, off n on for many years - her musical voice all fulla faerie magical wonderment, calling me name (n using more syllables than usual), all happy n gay to joyously get my attention, like she has a wonderful present for me - (twinkle twinkle) no, it's a glorious nag (sometimes instinctive, sometimes contrived) for me to do something on her schedule, but forget about doin anything for me - like: even tho i reserve the right to be poetic n insightful, please try to learn how to talk direct, without so many ulterior motives, cuz too much diplomacy reeks of dishonesty and manipulation - you know, just "for real" - but "for real" to her (for all people probably), that well guarded part of our minds where we�re just bein ourselves, is completely frustrated n on the verge of some breakdown that she can't ever let happen, cuz then she'll be out of control, n then everything in her life will fall apart, cuz she can't trust anybody to put things right in the way that she needs them to be - so bullies (n mothers with attitude), all of em, are really just scared little children with big ugly scary clubs, afraid of the inevitability of their own demise, peekin around every corner to head it off, n congratulated by the boogie man that they've put things to rights once again, so it's ok to keep on bein a pain in the ass, in fact its your responsibility to - but whatever anybody's problem is, ya can't let em be successful bein bossy, cuz then their sick behavior is rewarded (n therefore justified in their mind, glorious continuation, renewed for yet another silly season) - n it'll only get worse n worse from there on in, until the end of time ~ so, ya gotta keep with it - n don't let whatever she thinks, sez, or does, influence your position or sanity - ya gotta remember, this is just a spoiled child yer dealin with, but her ego prevents her from realizin that (sometimes violently, emotionally, deep inside) - while deep inside, she's sobbing uncontrollably and just wants to be held - for someone to say "i'm sorry" and just be there for her, n make her know for sure that everything's gonna be alright - but there's too much ego in the way - she's already got it pretty much in stone that the only way anything will ever be alright: is if this, this n this are done to her exact specifications - n quite logically (in this twisted wonderland that these neuroses tend to create) she thinks that, as a mature individual, she shouldn't hafta change (ironic, innit) - so on the outside she feels perfectly justified in bein a bitch - n that's real handy to keep the world away, at a distance, prevented from realizin how vulnerable she really is - she's too afraid, she can't afford to be seen as weak - n if only everybody would just do everything she sez, then life could possibly eventually become somewhat bearable, maybe one day - but she's only lookin at it from her mental prison, a shallow perspective that naturally annihilates any attempt to look outside yerself n see the world the way it really is, or even maybe how others see it - why should she hafta anyways, right ? - in her mind, she's right, n that's all there is to it - now go make yer bed, or do the damn dishes, or whatever - if only all the imbeciles in her life would just quit makin life more difficult for her, eh ? - these are the nimnuls who are allowed to be in charge of the world - but some people just aren't cut out to raise kids, n cuz they're not very good at it, often end up havin them in their lives longer as dependents, which is kinda fucked up for everybody involved, partly cuz these people aren't exactly the definition of dependable (maybe ya noticed) - or, she could be just plain evil (this i doubt) but there is a certain amount of subtle manipulation present (subtle to her, anyways) - this she feels justified doin, cuz it's only bringin about results she sees as satisfactory - the great conceit here is that one has the right n power to judge what is satisfactory n what is not (never occurring to them that a child could be asked if everything's alright with them this way) - n so, thru these warped dimensions of perception, anybody else's feelings bein hurt is nothin compared to what she hasta go thru everyday - besides, yer all the ones who hurt her (no respect for the mother, of all people - how rude - n she's bein very brave n patient puttin up with you guys, case closed) - but it takes a giant leap of awareness n evolution to get past one's own selfish feelings to the way it really is - this is why the bible belt is so successful, with it's step by step mode of instruction to the lowly peasants who can't take care of their own lives - maybe 12,000 years ago, people needed to be told to not kill or steal etc, cuz no one had ever told em that before - that was cutting edge wisdom back then, now we have knowledge of technology n the ways of our world (n even other worlds), our vocabulary is exploded 1000 times what the wandering nomad vagabonds had back then (jesus, we have sesame street for god's sake) - suddenly, the 150 million commandments have become subliminal second nature shit, n the real shit we should be pounding on every worship weekend and/or meditation session is how to deal with each other on a more healthy n productive level (as opposed to unhealthy n destructive) - sounds like a sermon, i know, but maybe the true apocalypse that we must avoid is always today, n when we are all so separated from each other that we forget to hold on to each other, n hold on to what's real, (not slip back into comfortable dreamland, where life is all warm n fuzzy) cuz without each other we are all just one against infinity - a zillion times over, but the one single dreamer loses every time - the truth is, the busier we are at our own lives, the less time we have to realize - but the pain n stress of life that ignorance brings only drives us to further distraction, n sometimes it's self destructive - like this: my ma was a happy alcoholic for some years, n finally went into "the program" - a new life adventure, this "recovery" thing, many 12 step groups n new age churches with modern renaissance reasoning n store bought psycho babble, but it never really got to her in a way that she could see very far outside herself n just deal with reality on real normal terms (i dunno tho, maybe she was real fucked up when i was a kid, n just didn't notice) - in a way, she's like a child who hasta have everything handed to her now - maybe it was the alcoholism which brought her to that, but i tend to lean more towards stress as the cause (constant overpowering stress, it drives ya batty) - n this is someone who is not mean for a living, or spiteful for fun, or bossy justa be big (but she does have her moments) - it's like this dude my closed minded former roomie, n everybody's like that really a little, but he don't think there's anything wrong with him, n therefore shouldn't hafta change (n if there is, so what, it's his life to live, go away, leave him be) - so leavin dishes on the floor for weeks suits him just fine, n in his mind it's perfectly alright - after all, he's not hurtin anybody - but if i come to him with some shit about anything he does that afflicts my sense of serenity, he sees my reasoning as unreasonable n therefore doesn't deeply wish to do anything about it - never gives it enough thought to actually bring change into fruition - this is me argument with me ma: like if she "really loved me," she would pay attention to what's happening with me cuz she's actually interested, she'd become an expert on this kinda music cuz she wants to know all about me n what i'm all about (only thing is, she's not capable of getting that far into it) - even after almost 30 years of bein a legend in me own mind, she has no clue, cuz to her mind it doesn't affect her, doesn't have anything to do with her own happiness - therefore, i conclude that she would be happy if i were happy, n maybe take credit for it cuz she was there to encourage me, when really she was just naggin me to please be happy for her sake so she could stop feelin guilty for not raisin a happy person; n then if i'm not happy or ok, it's ok to detach cuz she did all she could - in reality, me ma is just happy that i'm not an asshole like me dad, but it does pain her a little that i'm not happy or satisfied with how things are goin as far as me life's quest goes - anyways: this is the difference between unconditional love and conditional appreciation, no matter how much i may love me ma, i'll only be able to relax around her when she sez she loves me on the day she really becomes interested in where i'm at - she thinks she don't hafta, n she's right, she don't, but if yer really into a person for whatever reason, ya just wanna - i think she'd be fine with me rock stardom if it ever came to that, n say, "see, i always told ya how great you are" n think that my success is her success too - but the reality is: that i'd probably already be somewhere musically today if there was any active participation on anybody else's part - sure there's a few success stories, rags to riches (after 20 years of hard work, ya finally become an overnight success) - but people don't realize, on account of propaganda again, that no one can do it alone - back to yer ma again, she's tryin to run everything (this is a mistake, power trippin) - see: the ego will tell you that ya don't need anyone to be successful, n point out to ya that they're all a buncha fuckin idiots, n yer the only one on the ball with yer shit even halfway together - but that is such a narrow perception, like tunnel vision in a sandstorm, life is busy comin at ya from all directions - so my point in all of this is: the more stress gets to ya, the less reality yer able to perceive (n i think yer ma has had a ton of heartbreak in her life, n it comes back daily if ya don't deal with it, drives people insane) - but i dunno, maybe me dad does realize that his drinkin brought his life to a completely fucked up place, n maybe he really did stop with the vodka am-iv already, like his wife sez, but it takes a whole lotta bravery to admit publicly that you were wrong, n then do somethin about it - like: yer dad has trouble facing the fact that he's not 25 anymore, n therefore hasta chill (even i'm startin to freak out, just bein in me early 30s) - so understanding is relative to yer condition, n misunderstanding is bein not on the ball - look at it like this: my cousins probably don't understand that what they have in ambition is a relatively high amount, n therefore can (n should) be regarded as a gift, a talent, n they shouldn't begrudge the rest of the world for not pullin themselves up by their own collective bootstraps, as it were - that a even bum, even a junkie, no matter how stinky, really just needs to be hosed off, n fed, n prepared to get himself together - all ya hafta do is put yerself in a position where he cannot harm you (intentionally or not) n there ya go, ya saved a fellow human being - like teachin a child to read or wipe his own ass, first ya gotta read to him awhile n change his diapers for him regular - but the people who can possibly do this are constantly bombarded with propaganda sayin, "why should you, it's not your problem, not your responsibility, besides they brought it on themselves, they deserve whatever comes to them" when the reality, of course, is: that everybody has the responsibility to everybody else (i'm not responsible FOR a total stranger, but his unhappiness lessens us all) - we're all in the same boat - if we were all walkin single file up a mountain trail, n someone slipped n started goin over the edge, it's just natural human instinct to reach out yer hand n try to prevent them from fallin to their deaths - all this is just me sayin that, in a perfect world, i shouldn't be expected to go out n get (much less, handle) any ol lame ass job the world will hand me (besides, there�s plenty of rich people that are unqualified for shit work too), in order to further me finances n feather me nest, or spend years workin for a piece of paper i'll hafta spend years workin to pay for the loan to learn, so i can also spend years workin for another piece of paper to ensure shelter on a comfortable level, n the odd toys rewarded for bein a groovy sanctioned slave - but to merely express those ideas, even in a sarcastic way, is to threaten their whole way of life; n i imagine they'd probably feel just a little insulted to hear that i think that, or even think that about them - but this isn�t really about my cousins personally, just rich or "upper middle class" people in general, people who listen to propaganda directed at that demographic (hey, I love my family n I have nothing against people who have money - more power to em I say, but there�s justa human humane humanitarian responsibility that comes with that) - so, even if somewhere in their contemporarily educated minds, they realize the truth in all of this, they're probably not prepared to venture out of their comfortable bubble (so in that sense, it's exactly like alcoholism, or anything else like that) agoraphobia anyone?- this is the mechanism of self destruction that keeps most people down n hidin in a cave, even one that�s somewhere in the back of their psyche - ya can't get help, can't evolve, if yer nukin the messenger everytime he appears on the horizon, no matter how much enlightenment he has for ya - so it hasta be delivered disguised, one grain of sugar or salt at a time - true communism (not the 20th century version which is really just fascism wrapped in idealism) is possible, n better than capitalism, but ya can't force it on people: they hafta come to it themselves, otherwise they'll rebel, even if there really is enough of everything to go around - things're gettin better, but earth is still not ready for laser-gun technology, or even effective solar power (not as long as there's terrorists anywhere around) - eventually we'll be groovy - the internet, music, tv n movies do alot to inform the public (ever so subtly) how to be cool, n respect one another (this is why i hate wrestling so much, it undoes so much - but even "beevis n butthead" has prevented some kids from becoming permanent assholes) - see: patterns of how to be are reinforced subliminally, subconsciously with every commercial we see, every moral to every story has a message self-contained that tells us we are good or bad or should improve or digress - people who don't like to learn, or don't watch tv, or are otherwise isolated from what's really goin on in the world (maybe they live in the south), tend to reject new ideas on the basis that they're new ideas, cuz they think they're fine the way they are, n you're the one who needs to change - but back to the mountain trail, if yer ma is up there freakin out wavin her arms around, not in any real danger of fallin herself, but drivin some of you literally over the fuckin edge, then she has become a problem that has to be dealt with - in lifeguard training, they teach ya to be calm under any circumstance, but ya hafta be an instinctively confident swimmer to even approach this concept (a kickin n screamin silly can drown the both of ya's in 3 feet of water) - but if this were a real mountain trail, she'd hafta be either calmed down or placed somewhere that her freakin cannot harm the other trailblazers (on real mountain trails, people like this are at least fantasized to be just pushed over to save the rest of the party) - but i have the feeling that in any other job, she'd be fired long ago - same thing goes for me roomie, few bands woulda put up with his selfish shit (refusing to learn stuff, or just try stuff, or even just play) - me old roomie was that way (me dad too), his way or the highway, n it finally drove me out (lucky i had somewhere else to go) - me whole life is one example after another, episode after episode, of people i trust to be there for me n understand: eventually pushin me out cuz i can't satisfactorily conform to their vision of reality - but whether utopia is in the heart or the mind is for the philosophers to consider - the point is: i could be neighbors with these people, if only they'd be considerate enough to not inflict their shabby situation upon everyone around em - n i could even be in a band with em, roomie dude too, if only there were room for my ideas and we could act as a team - but, what they do, is all they have time or mind for, which is largely true about every one of us - the trick, i guess is: to find more time to think, or some other way to acquire more knowledge, wisdom and truth, and therefore a better perception of reality - or at least find a better way to get along with our fellow creatures who aren't so much interested in enlightenment - for example: i can't stand livin with me ma, but i'd be ok livin within reach - we have our history, but we found a zone to get along in - n i can hold it against me ma forever that she wasn't lookin into shit enough to know that i was harmless, so i ended up homeless, but i know that she was just scared (cuzza all the propaganda from her church people) - so it came to a point finally where she just felt she was defendin herself against me, that she'd done all she can for me, n in a way she was right (still wish she woulda looked into it a little more, but that's where the dominoes fell upon us all) - so anyways, many days not so long ago, here's me ma calling me name - n maybe i'm asleep or really into somethin i can't put down right now, n i see it comin n i'm thinkin i'm not ready for this shit, but maybe i don't realize right then how completely fulla shit she is, n maybe she don't either - but it's a game many people play, mostly cuz it's worked so well for many aeons to keep people in the childish arena on which it depends for continued existence - usually we just sigh n get on with our lives - after all, it's not the end of the world if i just let her rag on me, n it's not the crucifixion of her emotional stamina to let me get around to it when i get a chance, or when i was gonna anyways - n it's probably not her gettin off on havin some arm of control over me, no matter how bored she gets all day - but some people, as you may have guessed, are really like that - for whatever reason, n to whatever degree of manipulation, the formula works whether yer asleep or awake - it's a power strategy, a defense mechanism, an inert energy scam scheme - but yer ma is in a wheelchair, n self elected in charge of the family biz - kinda like miss piggy on a bad hair day, only mean - whether she means to be or not, intentional or no, it seems to work for her - this has to stop, otherwise it'll keep goin on n on n never get better, only get worse until she tires of all the action n gratification - hey, if she cant make things right from bitchin about shit all the time, at least it puts you all in yer perpetual places - here, i'd like to take a lesson from the honeymooners or the flintstones or even all in the family - archie bunker was only able to continue bein such a bastard cuz his wife edith was such an enabler - this was based on the producer's real life childhood, too - if you remember, eventually, edith develops a spine, much to archie's mystification - but ya reverse the genders n it takes on a whole other dynamic - women of our parent's generation tend to depend more on the maternal clause as a trump card - no matter how much they say they love us, we still hafta do whatever they say cuz they gave us life (i know, "well, next time, don't do me any favors"); n besides, how could you do that to your mother, to a woman, to your wife ? - well, how could you as this person deserving of special respect and attention, fall back into such a state that you care so very little for the people in your life who supposedly mean the most to you ? - the answer is: untimely stress - the ego is a very powerful thing (well, at least it thinks it is, maybe that's its power) - n fear is the underlying cause of all disrespect, i think - so don't be afraid of her, don't let her get ya down, don't give her any power over you - respect her, as ya would any other fellow human being, but don't back down - but that's the thing, people in parental positions tend to believe that they deserve more respect because they're parents, even if their children are grown - hey, 20 years is a long time to get used to being in authority (some, most people can't find their way back) - sometimes, on the phone, i can tell yer ma is on the verge (we tend to see people like that as fakin it when they're bein nice) - i can tell by the tone in people's voices how much respect they have, but everyone deserves respect - the trick is in understanding where people are comin from - if yer ma is irreconcilable in her contempt for other less worthy lifeforms, then ya may hafta do what i did n detach yerself from the parental unit - but learn from this experience, grasshopper - know that it is in your dna to become irrational, as it is in all of us - "shut up, just shut the hell up" is a final last-ditch-attempt panic defense mechanism (sufficiently threatening to stop most challenges to authority in their tracks, yet allows no insight as to the validity of the defense and insists upon stopping the conversation right when some progress towards reality is being made) - sometimes i see meself doin things that remind me of me dad - i just hafta remind meself that i'm usin these powers for good - more original inspiring woids of wisdom here: "if ya don�t wanna make this more difficult than it hasta be, first recognize that i'm not your enemy" - charming little ditty, cuts both ways (depending on the disposition of the reciprocal recipient) - it can slice n dice, or spread the mayonnaise - now what's really gonna bake their noodles on that is just exactly how ya meant it, but only if they're open to transition."
"You should write a book."
So I think I�m a know-it-all. That much ya probably already guessed, never dreaming to such a degree as this. Well, I try to be hopeful, hope to be helpful, help others to be trying, (n sometimes I learn a little about myself in the process). This n that�s not to say I�m right about all of the above or anything at all ~ but the tension is there n the cupboard has been left bare. Now, before I become a has-been with a real empty cupboard, I�ll take this lil ol opportunity to tellya that the above mesmerization was put down all in one breath. OK, ya didn�t believe that one either. But I didn�t mean any of it as a put-down. Please don�t think me insensitive or insulting, but please do think. The main problem with everybody is that everybody�s got too many problems. Problem is, it�s becoming problematic. This is what keeps soldiers n psychiatrists in business.
So. Can�t wait for the people mentioned above to read all that n get back to me eh? Well, I really do love em, just can�t stand the stereo type they�ve perpetually placed me in. Took me years of actually believing it myself to finally get over it. The thing of it is, things are not as they seem ~ to me, to them, or even to the universe, probably. I try to take people at face value, but I usually don�t allow proper propaganda to influence how much I like em before we�ve even met ~ n I usually give people the benefit of the doubt long after they�ve written me off as a perpetual zoid monster. Hey, I do look the part.
"Can�t we all just get along?"
OK, this book is sposed to be about insanity ~ n maybe I�m somewhat of an authority on the concept having been committed once or twice, for a few days at a time here n there ~ nothing serious, really ~ kinda like spending the odd night in jail here n there for driving on a suspended license, n ya only got pulled over cuz yer too poor to fix the broken tail light or a crack in the windshield, n ya got long ass hair n yer drivin in a nice neighborhood, so naturally the crew cut rookie types assume yer a dope fiend or on yer way back from casing some mansion, or even if they�re not, they still prolly wanna shove a flashlight in yer gut very hard n fast, like their outlook on life, even if a grid-locked rush-hour traffic scene is looking onward at the whole spectacle, n the cop doesn�t show up at the hearing, prolly cuz his boss stepped in or maybe he got fired for something else somehow similar ~ had the eyes of a wife beater, definitely, one of em. Charges dropped.
Anyways, I remember refusing to take medication, that made me stay up for 5 days in a row no matter how exhausted I was, not to mention the constipation, or mind numbing mind numb effects ~ n this pissed off the thugs in charge of passing out the meds, not to mention the other midnight snackers who were happy just letting the world go by, by now ~ cuz I knew I wasn�t half the nut bar the docs were! Ah, ya live n learn.
2 "And then I will be made to feel guilty for feeling guilty!"
OK, I made that one up ~ but when I was a kid, I wanted to be famous for being a famous person, n then I thought it�d be super to be a superhero. Yep, that�d do it. But today, having run outta real quotations off the top of my head, I�ve taken to makin em up just for the fun of it. Feel cheated? Hey, I never promised reality or research ~ I dont even always punctuate properly like, or even remember correctly. Like I said, relax.
"Sex, Drugs n Rock & Roll"
Humans aren�t the only species on this planet who have sex purely for recreational purposes, but the list is relatively short. Also the list of who imbibes chemicals (natural or otherwise) for something of controlled substance, or poetry�s sake. Then there�s rock n roll ~ I bet that�s why the aliens�re here. I mean, I�m sure it was all the atomic explosions that brought us to their attenuated attention, but they probably stayed for all the groovy jams. Also, the occasional orgy or two tends to let the time just go by.
Where was I? Ah. Now, this isn�t sposed to be about the legalization of anything deemed unacceptable by the powerful powers that be beings themselves, n enjoy being beings, tho their beingness being uncomfortable with the other beings being comfortable, however uncomfortable that being the case, makes ya be.
The point in all of this escapes me ~ but being that as it may, science came along first n was perhaps more successful, tho not always acceptable. Imagine if you will: the gorillas in the jungle who first decided to make tools to influence bugs into their mouth. Only the strong say how things�re gonna be in such neighborhoods ~ but eventually, those who did not rebel against the status quo, became under the influence of starvation, n therefore under the political influence of those who were currently under the influence of whatever controlled substances lay in, n came with, the bugs: now in the mouths, n eventually bellies, of those whose influence was perhaps more innovative. Nowadays, there are other types of guerrillas, in probably those very same jungles, n they�re less interested in anything the slightly hairier gorillas are under the influence of, or find at all interesting.
Now, the ghetto is an interesting place, n all kindsa interesting things�re goin on there, if yer interested in that sort of thing. But the thing that�ll shortly be accruing interest here is a casual sense of futility ~ an aura of almost absolute "what�s the point?" ~ n with an almost infinite affinity for apathy too. It�s almost impossible to feel optimistic about anything if ya absorb too much of that vibe, unless ya get love, religion or science ~ or the other three aforementioned possibly self-similar boring biggies.
Try not to be depressed. But the thing I�m trying to impress n stress here, is that more of us (than is probably all too comfortable to realize) currently n regularly experience a kind of ghetto of the mind or soul or heart or whatever other trinity of trilogies I can imagine for the moment ~ probably caused by stress.
This poverty of poetry and/or philosophy in general thus leads to ignorance in the inacceptance of innovative ideals n other idealistic things associated with creativity, n therefore abundance and/or survival. A little word, which actually isn�t so little, n I�m not even extremely sure it�s actually a word at all, thus applies ~ n is as follows: "exnocentricism." It�s supposedly from the Latin, meaning the inability to accept outside, or new, concepts. This is perhaps going around a lot lately. But I ran into something like that a little bit ago, when I ran into some people of a differing viewpoint from my own, except that it turned out they were a little bit militant n quite beyond the realm of reason, n so bit my head off ~ n so I thought about it for a bit, n thus came up with this:
"Of course there are no monuments on Mars, because there is no such thing as intelligent life other than Humans, and only a select few Humans have ever been away from Earth. Our species obviously didn't colonize this Star System from far away, because Interstellar Travel is too impractical, and no one can ever go faster than the Speed of Light."
"No Space Probes were ever shot down or rendered inactive by any UFO, because all flying objects are easily explained as a star or swamp gas, and thus are never 'unidentified', neither were they hijacked by secret Government Intelligence or Space organizations, because every single space expedition is given full public disclosure; and all covert operations by any world government are confined to International activities, and they couldn't care less about anything in Outer Space (get real), and all politicians, though they sometimes are less than honest about who they sleep with, or who contributed to their campaign funds, always tell the truth about the real important stuff.
"Any investigation into the origins of Man beyond what is spelled out for us by our highly esteemed forefathers will be scoffed at with utmost enthusiasm. Pyramids were built by slaves as tombs for their God Kings, Atlantis was a chilling parable about the dangers of egalitarianism, and if there were such creatures as Space Aliens, the first thing they'd do is land on the White House front lawn and declare their Interplanetary Brotherhood by curing all disease and supplying us with their superior technology.
"Lastly, if you're not a member of the Mainstream Scientific Community, you don't have the right to think out loud about anything at all. We have your credit card numbers, email addresses, and the implants in your skull will inform us of your ongoing perceptions and subtle realizations at all times. Sleep tight, sweet Little Brother.
Well, I'm personally of the mind that the Giza pyramids were built by a technological civilization, not that we think of as Egyptians today ~ those people moved into the area much later, and restored some of it, and copied the style of architecture somewhat, but were unsuccessful (in some cases, very) at building any pyramids of their own.
For one thing, the north wall of the Great Pyramid is so lucky to coincide with the 30th parallel, and all three are lined up more specifically with the cardinal points than we have been able to duplicate today. The whole Giza complex was obviously planned by a great and thoughtful people and for a specific purpose that we have not been able to specifically describe today.
That these buildings might've been designed purely as tombs is ludicrous, though I don't doubt that it was the reasoning of later kings that immortality might be achieved through declaring such internal chambers their final royal resting place. Also, there is the pyramid energy thing. Somehow, be it magnetism or whatever, if you place your razor under a pyramid of a certain slope and lined up to magnetic north, it'll stay sharp enough to shave with for over a year. I've seen this happen, and also seen people get sick by sleeping under pyramids made of plastic, not glass or cotton sides. Such a "magical" trait is unlikely to be coincidentally happened upon by tribes of recently civilized nomads. But if they discovered this somehow, it would explain a great many things about their most anomalous religion ~ based on gods from outer space, n immortality.
There are pyramids all over the world, and all are pretty much from the same antiquitous era, yet modern science tells us that these societies couldn't have had any contact with each other. I mostly agree with that supposition, at least as far as the pre-modern era goes, but there is an obvious common inspiring source with all of them.
I feel that this must be the famous Atlantis, which has gotten its share of bad press (especially lately), but such a society as described to (and/or by) Plato has been reasoned in recent years to have originated on the continent which we now know of as Antarctica, in such extremely ancient times that the continent was only partly covered by snow and ice. Such a people would have considered "the one true ocean" to be what we now separate into three (Indian, Atlantic and Pacific). And it would have been a short seaward journey to the continents of Australia, Africa, and South America, (the latter two being ultimately considered part of the same major land mass, as per Plato's tale, as they are all connected together eventually, especially if there was less water in liquid form those many thousands or even millions of years ago).
In the Americas, pyramid complexes line up to the planets in our solar system, and there's even an extra one miles out from the main group (in the jungled hills), possibly representing the fabled Planet X that we have yet to discover. But merely suggesting that these were created by anyone other than savages (in grass skirts or some such primitive garb), will send a scientist over to your house in the middle of the night to paint nasty messages on you door with a small hand-held laser. And don't you dare mention the "A" word, unless you have the time and inclination to be ripped to intricate shreds by snobby, stuffy know-it-alls. Atlantis, Atlantis, Atlantis !
There are also tons of clues pointing to the possible antiquity of these megalithic monuments, not the least of which being the type of weathering erosion that the Sphinx had endured and nearly succumbed to. The Sphinx points east exactly to the constellation Leo in the era of 10,500 BC, when coincidentally, the Milky Way lined up with the Nile River, and the three main Giza pyramids lined up with Orion's Belt, and another real pyramid, some miles away, lines up with Betelgeuse or Aldebaran or some other such star in that sector of the sky. The star Sirius, only 8.8 light years from us (relatively next door), plays very significantly in the Egyptian religion, and that the Egyptians we know of worshipped this star as the goddess Isis, to me suggests that they knew something that we do not about all this, but still had no clue as to it's true implications.
The gods they speak of, (and many other religions all over the world as well) may just be our stellar neighbors, and besides being technologically advanced, may have more than just a passing interest in our planet and star system. The constellation Ursa Major (The Big Dipper) is known in Chinese mythology as "The Government." All of the major recognizable naked-eye stars in this formation are really very close to us, as stars go, at 30-40 light years (even closer to each other at 8-20 ly), and of the same general spectral type too, (Blue-White Sub-Giants).
The Cydonia Plateau on Mars has what seems to be a face carved in stone, a mile high and four miles across, with some strange pyramidesque shapes surrounding it ~ and a wall, perfectly straight and going on for several miles. This whole complex is mirrored exactly in Silbury Hill in the English countryside, near Stonehenge. An ancient road follows the path matching the wall on Mars, while the Tor corresponds to the face, and certain other structures follow the pattern as to the Martian pyramids.
All this leads my wandering mind to wonder if this system wasn't settled millions of years ago by an advanced Humanoid species and even if we are their descendants. The fabled Atlantis is said to have failed over a very long period of time, mostly due to greed and a general degradation of certain wise philosophies that had sustained it for so long, and even presumably evolved it into the grand Utopia it was supposed to have been in the first place. One thing we have going for us though: satellites. Even if the whole world turned upside down in some sort of Armageddon like manner, we'd probably be able to communicate with each other somehow, even if we remained planetbound because of it for generations to come.
I welcome all sane distributions of logical thought on this matter, but will ignore callous out of hand dismissals out of hand. I'm looking into this mystery further because the more I read, the more it makes sense. Any scientific journals supporting this theory will be held in as high regard as if they were to say the world is round and orbits the sun.
I immediately received responses provoking me to go back on my word n not ignore them for the self-righteous "science is god" sermons that they were. Apparently there was no such thing as most of what I mentioned, n everything else was the result of a childhood spent too much time watching, reading, or daydreaming science fiction.
I tried not to let it get me down too much. That, or the fact that most people who replied in a positive way didn�t really know what I was talking about either. My original quest was, having discovered the internet at its early inceptions, to locate n thus vibrate with others of my ilk ~ pursuing goals of n related to just exactly what the fuck is going on with all these archaeological architecture archetypes, creative cruller crop circle thingies ~ n all this alienating talk of aliens n shit like that there. Or so I hoped.
Well, perhaps needless to say, I didn�t find anything like that really, n most of the people I have anything to do with today still think I�m half batty n a bell-free dingaling to believe in such superfluous things as aliens from other planets ~ but that�s only cuz they themselves are probably aliens from other planets sent here to discourage people like me from finding out or even being interested in just exactly what the fuck is all this hubbub, bub. So I retire to my lonely planet in search of other intelligent lifeforms. Perhaps needless to say, being agoraphobic, I instead end up watchin alotta TV.
"Danger, Will Robinson!"
I still remember being plopped down in front of Star Trek as an infant in diapers, maybe it was the groovy red, yellow n blue uniform thingies at first, but the main thingy it instilled in me was the logic behind the theory that there was life out there somewhere, n the way life is currently being lived on this planet, in this century, is most illogical.
"Fascinating."
Then came "Star Wars" n "Battlestar Galactica" to convince me that space was the place to be, n also I�d read "Chariots of the Gods" which pointed out, among other thingies, that UFOs were in classic paintings of the middle ages, n even cave drawings from who knows how far back. This only further served to alienate me among other kids who were busy being taught that people who believed things like that were worthy of alienation. This is partly how I became accustomed to being cussed at. So, I guess the point in all this is, "mm, maybe I really am nutso?" I mean, you know, look around.
So, I�m over thirty now, perhaps I mentioned. I still get carded tho, even for smokes ~ but maybe that�s just the establishment breathin down my neck. When yer a teenager, it�s a vast compliment when people seem to think yer 20 or so. Like, the nicest thing you can say to anybody is that they look about 25. Well, right about now, I guess, is when people start wishin they were younger (if only to go back n do it all over again a little less painfully, if only to avoid the things which made us so insane). So I had dreams recently where I was still in high school. Then, after a bit, I�d realize that I�d already graduated many (oh so many) years ago, n say to myself "what the fuck am I doing here?" n get up n leave, much to the amusement of most of the dream characters I was payin attention to at the time. I�m not sure exactly what the karmic significance may be in any of this. Now, this isn�t the same dream as the "I don�t know any of these people" dream, but it probably has some stunning similarities which I�m not currently prepared to go into right now. But the groovy distant constellation n shooting star dreams are very encouraging ~ maybe I�ll get a chance to go there one day. In the meantime, I have chatrooms.
In the previous volume, I went on slightly for a bit about wishin the world were a more user friendly place ~ n by that I don�t mean AOL or Microsoft user friendly. That would be unreal. I mean, take a lamp or a toaster: it�s easy to understand cuz it�s a simple concept. Making the internet or computer programs as simple as a rock thrown at the moon actually makes em more difficult, inherently unreal, n the definition n theoretical basis of all things labeled n earmarked to be filed under the category of insanity. Y�see, computers are inherently complicated. They�re designed to do things which we cannot, like incomprehensible calculations. You can possibly get thru life without discovering how to set the time on yer VCR, but we entrust computers with tasks exponentially more vital to our very existence than that. Maybe one day they�ll take over, like in Terminator, but only if we don�t pay attention. Crazy, huh?
"I�ll be back."
3 It has been said that the definition of insanity is: continuing along the same path while expecting different results. I dunno who said it, but people are awful fond of quoting things like this, usually n perhaps to bring to someone�s attention that they are acting in a way which is at least slightly incongruous with the way they think that someone should obviously act. Now, it�s one thing to "agree to disagree" if it�s something like what the greatest sci-fi TV show of all time is, but anything much more political than that n people tend to get all philosophical ~ or poetic ~ or even insane.
There�s something wrong with the world. Now, I love Grape Nuts. But I can�t have em anymore. I don�t have the teeth for em anymore (anyone who�s been to the dentist more than fifty times in their life prolly knows what I�m talkin about). So Grape Nuts are definitely, permanently out. That sucks. This isn�t the problem, but there is still something wrong with the world. Say, for example, I were to mention this to somebody (I dunno how this would ever come up, but let�s let that be for now): the first thing outta some people�s mouth is usually something along the lines of, "well, you could always eat em mushy." Now again, this isn�t at all about Grape Nuts, just an example or analogy of the situation in question that happens to be what I happen to think is wrong with the world in general, for the moment. Now here, I should probably know right off that I�m dealing with an idiot, or an insane person ~ or at least someone who thinks that I�m an idiot, or slightly insane (or inane), or at the very least that I don�t know how to tie my own shoelaces together.
Now I was just interrupted by a phone call from a business who�s initials don�t stand for anything, "it is what it is, actually" is what the lady told me. This is another thing that�s wrong with the world, but for the moment, we�ll let this moment pass.
Now, on back to the Grape Nuts phenomena, scenario, situation, circumstance, thingy, whatever ~ it is what it is. So this hypothetical person is not of the mind that I am of the mind to figure out the mushy concept for myself ~ perhaps however, they are of the mind that I myself am hypothetical, or at least hyper n pathetic, if not uncool. Going into this situation head on, perhaps I might offer that I have tried the mush scenario once or twice myself, n it didn�t really work. Grape Nuts, as a phenomena, never really ever become complete total unadulterated mush (sadly, such is the state of most worrisome concepts, perhaps a pattern emerges), and even when they do approach this silly state of being (close enough for jazz), by the time they get there, they�ve ceased to become worthy of merit. Not since Oliver Twist, I think, has anyone asked for "please Sir, some more" nice chewy runny brown yummy gruel. It�s like mushy Raisin Bran or soggy Corn Flakes ~ the kinda stuff ya eat through a straw when yer jaw�s wired shut cuz someone beat ya over the head with a baseball bat cuz ya went on too fuckin long about the damn soggy Grape Nuts.
This is where the situation becomes a lil sticky. Not the Grape Nuts, though they could probably be used to adhesive several arteries together, especially with sugar added sprinkled on top, perhaps with strawberries or blueberries, maybe with a little ice cream instead of milk, on a hot summer evening when the stars are just beginning to fully come out. Y�see, people tend to not realize that the stars have started to fully come out n are twinkling brightly as the atmosphere makes a perpetual mirage out of the whole situation (stars rarely twinkle for you if you also happen to be in space with them). So being from planet Earth, n on the sidelines, as it were (surrounded by atmospheres both malevolent n benign), what I usually realize at this point in the conversation is that it has deteriorated into a series of observations, followed by innocent protestations on my part (however subliminal in nature either may happen to be at any given moment), that I am just not allowing solutions to drop or fall in my lap. Whatever path solutions are wont to take at any given moment, they usually start out right in front of your face, n find their merry way, somehow, to the lap of the individual in question, with whatever said problem it is their happy duty to change the day into several subliminal rays of sunshine, even if it is well past midnight by now, n the stars are almost ecstatic that they are still twinkling (whatever distant dreamy constellation they may happen to be from).
Maybe it�s just my threshold ~ the level of torture I�m willing to undergo, for a level bowl of groovy, non grueling, breakfast cereal, no matter how surreal that sounds. Now, as I said before, I love Grape Nuts, but the situation is such that I am no longer able to enjoy them. That may suck, but I have accepted it. The person in front of me has just offered a solution, however well thought out; and I have rejected it, however politely or well tried already ~ nevertheless, this has led my savior of the moment to believe that I am just not worth the trouble or worthy of saving anymore. This is where I start to feel pathetic, and this is what�s wrong with the world.
This is what has led me to believe that shit�s seriously fucked up. Actually, this is what led me to believe many years ago that I am insane, as it seemed to be the general consensus, because I am so obviously hard to get along with, especially when someone is just trying to offer a simple solution to a complex problem, and I�m obviously an anti-optimist who is just, very simply, unwilling as fuck to accept any solution to any problem ~ n so they concluded, n I eventually (if reluctantly) agreed, that I must be happy in my misery; n this woulda worked had I not been so unhappy with misery for so long that I eventually had enough time on my hands to figure out that it wasn�t me, it was them. But everytime you say something like that, someone asks you who "them" is, who "they" are, n ya start to get a general reputation as a paranoid sort, who is better left several ten foot poles distance between because of all the hypothetical pronouns often flying about for no apparent reason other than to annoy the happy people; who would normally like to help, but the hippie�s just to uncooperative.
"Though you see them, please don�t say a word.
I think the world is occupied by aliens who have a completely different value system regarding Grape Nuts n other such things, such as twinkling stars at night. I think the aliens employ androids to do what they consider menial tasks, such as fuck with us Earthbound, Earth born, humanoid types (or train other humanoids to do this, for fun, or as little pay as possible), n eventually convince us all individually that we are singularly insane n need to take more mind numbing medication in plural doses. Perhaps after enough of "them" read this, I�ll mysteriously find my way into a nuthouse, or ice cream factory, or banana patch, or dental floss plantation, or become an alcoholic etc. Mark my words, if I die of something perfectly explainable or understandable (for anyone currently standing under the particular circumstances in question), this would be proof that they�re here, they�re big unfriendly meanies, and that they have conspired to drive me insane by first depriving me of the one solitary joy of the once happy, single daily doses of non-mushy Grape Nuts, but failed miserably at that, so next decided to just as well make me think I�m insane by providing me with a series of uncooperative individuals who seemingly cant seem to understand how I can seem to go on being so how I am, n get away with it despite the fact that I seem so obviously wiggy. Far too wiggy, really.
Right. So. It now seems, to just about everybody that I come across, that I have a negative attitude ~ and/or am just unwilling to accept the obvious solutions to whatever�s troubling me at the time. But I�m not, really. I�ve just come to terms with it. I�ve also, almost, come to hopefully temporary terms with the fact that I am surrounded by people who not only don�t understand me, but currently have no desire or apparent need to. This would ordinarily be fine if it weren�t for the fact that I haven�t come to terms with the isolinear isolation that this unbecoming concept comes along with. It�s a long story, but the grand obtuse slice of pie chart of the people I�ve met prolly think they do in fact understand me and that I fall into a class of weirdo that they wish they didn�t devote such big slices of their comprehension understanding. But they don�t understand. I�m a nice guy, I�m willing to try anything (within reason), and I was always taught that this was enough ~ as long as yer tryin, people will like you. The sad fact of the matter is that most people are either insane or they�re really aliens (or androids employed by aliens), and most of them are in fact insane themselves. The trouble is, once you have realized this, you�re no longer one of them, really ~ and so now hafta adjust to all the wiggy things that come along with that concept, and this�ll usually drive ya insane.
OK. So I may sound slightly hypocritical professing to be a nice guy n everything while simultaneously slamming the bulk of the entirety of the rest of the world fulla humanoids, androids n space aliens. But this is not entirely the case. Mainly, in America, in civilized world anyways, we have become a jaded people, a culture based on bias n multiple sources of information, redundant n reprocessed, n backed up until it backs up on ya. The point is this: that we don�t accept mediocrity ~ in like, any form. So, if yer not perfect goin in, don�t even try. The trouble with this, is that the world is run n showcased mostly by those who can pretty much do it all themselves. This is a pretty egocentric state of being, n so we have developed into a such society of insane people doing insane things for a living, insanely jealous that we don�t get to do whatever it is that we wish we were really cut out for. What the fuck ?!?!?
But really, we�re just biding time ~ those of us with hope, that is. Saving our nickels until we can get a sizable nestegg so we can go n do what it is we really wanna. But escapism is king, cuz all we�re really trained for is either enthusiastic devotion to our daily task or veging-out waiting for total utter relaxation to set in so we can go n do it all again tomorrow. Few of us ever attain this, even less of us survive. So this society, sweet n good intentioned though it may be, is insane ~ beyond even its own wildest dreams. Maybe if there were a different way of goin about things, it�d all work out. But in reality, until it becomes fiscally responsible for all the go-getters (who happen to be the status-quo in charge of the looney-bin) to make the world a better place for people whose needs are something else completely different from what they�re used to thinkin or even dreamin wildly about, it looks like more of the same; like some kinda Chinese water torture that drips on yer forehead every second until all the sanity washes out onto the fuckin floor.
But let this not discourage you. Life is fulla opportunities n simple satisfactions. For example: right now, I�m feeling very wise n content that this�ll get me through even the most casual realizations that the universe is entropy. Does that make me insane? Possibly. But the end of the world is neither nigh nor despondent in nature. Actually, I almost welcome a cometary catastrophe or a meteor from Mars or some other such dramatic finality that would justify to the universe n ourselves that we were worth so much trouble as to go about it in such a gaudy way. So to all you space aliens out there, don�t just blast the planet into oblivion from the safety of space (n relative anonymity thereof), land on the White House Lawn first. Show up on CNN one afternoon when we�re all having Grape Nuts n peaches, contemplating what makes stars shine, n tell us just exactly what you think of stars, n insanity, n oblivion, first. Then blast us all into smithereens! Just do it when I�m asleep, dreaming of distant groovy constellations.
Now, to all you dreamers out there, whether it be constellations or high school or brutal thought police with flashlights in yer gut cuzza all the flashy clothing n asinine acid flashbacks; n all the psychologists out there, reading this for further introspect into the fantastical realm of psychobabble (passing out meds to keep all the medicos from passing out) ~ feed yerself with the wit n wisdom that this whole planet is one giant funny ant-farm, proposed aeons ago, n probably forgotten about somewhere in the early stages of development: n go out into the rest of the fishbowl world on which we live, armed with the truth n realization that all is for nothing, yet everything n everybody else matters, especially ourselves. If you don�t agree with that, you�re insane.
But if ya need a sense of serenity to get ya thru the day which binds you n blinds us all to the sense of oblivion that surrounds the general concept n state of being, remember this new adage I made up for the fun of it some time ago: "you can�t trust anybody who never did any drugs, n ya can�t depend on anyone who still does." Could be true ~ but go out into the world n find out for yerself.
"And in the end, the drugs you take will freak you out, you fry-bake!"
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