t r e e h o u s e

 - what's the secret password ? -

. . . . . climb on up . . . . .
. . . if you dare . . .

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. 
Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. 
Do not walk beside me either. 
Just pretty much leave me the hell alone. 
The journey of a thousand miles 
  begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
It's always darkest before dawn. 
So if you're going to steal 
  your neighbor's newspaper, 
  that's the time to do it. 
Don't be irreplaceable. 
If you can't be replaced, 
  you can't be promoted.
No one is listening until you fart. 
Always remember you're unique. 
Just like everyone else.
Never test the depth 
  of the water with both feet. 
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, 
  try missing a couple of car payments. 
Before you criticize someone, 
  you should walk a mile in his shoes. 
That way, when you criticize him 
  you're a mile away and you have his shoes. 
If at first you don't succeed, 
  skydiving is not for you.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. 
Teach him how to fish, 
  and he will sit in a boat
  and drink beer all day. 
If you lend someone $20 
  and never see that person again, 
  it was probably worth it.
If you tell the truth, 
  you don't have to remember anything. 
Some days you are the bug; 
  some days you are the windshield. 
Don't worry; 
  it only seems kinky the first time. 
Good judgment 
  comes from bad experience, 
  and a lot of that 
  comes from bad judgment.
The quickest way 
  to double your money 
  is to fold it in half 
  and put it back in your pocket. 
A closed mouth gathers no foot. 
Duct tape is like the Force. 
It has a light side and a dark side, 
  and it holds the universe together. 
There are two theories to arguing with women. 
Neither one works. 
Generally speaking, 
  you aren't learning much 
  when your lips are moving.
Experience is something you don't get 
  until just after you need it.
Never miss a good chance to shut up. 
We are born naked, wet, and hungry, 
  and get slapped on our ass
  ... then things get worse.
Never, under any circumstances, 
  take a sleeping pill 
  and a laxative 
  on the same night. 
There is a fine line between 
  "hobby" and "mental illness." 
No matter what happens, 
  somebody will find a way 
  to take it too seriously!
There comes a time 
  when you should stop 
  expecting other people 
  to make a big deal 
  about your birthday
... around age 11. 
Everyone seems normal 
  until you get to know them.